I have a hangover, I’m not proud of it but it was the spoils of a work related function where the booze was complimentary, following the event which is of absolutely no interest here, myself and a couple of colleagues wound up in a hotel bar in West London drinking until the small hours. We took a cab back to south London, according to one colleague I insulted the driver, of this I’ve no recollection but I do recall having a whiteout in a vehicle and the other colleague vomiting what looked like blood and diced papaya onto the pavement. I had to take him back to my flat, he was completely incapacitated.
Forgive the short piqued, I feel dreadful today.
Dreadful.
But briefly, what isn’t good for a hangover is seeing that fucking moron Jordan in all the fucking tabloids at the British Book Awards. What the fucking sweet Christ is that cunt doing there? She’s not written anything for fucks sake. It’s like me going on page 3 showing off my tits.
April 10th, 2008 at 10:51 am
It pains me to say that I know this, but Jordan (shamefully) has published two “books” and has a series of children’s books out. About horses.
I know, I know. But still, she has written “something”, apparently.
April 10th, 2008 at 11:36 am
To be fair, I think she has had two books ghost-written for her, which isn’t quite the same… She just had to sit there going “and then the FIRST time I got my boobs done blah blah blah” and then some cynical jaded hack had to put it together for her while no doubt secretl weeping over the death of their childhood dreams.
But childrens books about horses yes, apparently true. Luckily the Venn diagram of the sort of people who love Jordan enough to pour money into her coffers and the sort of people who read to their children have only a small overlap.
*is a snob*
April 10th, 2008 at 11:55 am
But she wasn’t there for some fuck about horses was she?
Any tit can write a kids story let face it, whether it’s any good is another matter -but not everyone can write a novel
I’m still livid by the way, livid
April 10th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I don’t think they were ghost written for her actually – she made a massive hooha about how she didn’t want to be one of those celebs who didn’t write their own stuff. Or something like that.
I’ve never read them, I would like to point out – I’m not that bad. But the story she gives is that she wrote them all….although that’s always open to interpretation, isn’t it.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I can assure you they were ghostwritten for her by Rebecca Farnsworth.
As for ‘writing a childrens story’ about fuckng ponies, it’s not a leap of the imagination to turn…
‘a poni getz lost an then he findsz his wey hom’
…into a story with some help from her agent, lots of garish illustrations and a marketing budget the size of her fucking tits is it?
April 10th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Do not get this gal started on the whole Jordon thing. She is ghastly and… AND…what is worse is that I made the mistake of remote hopping the other night and getting sucked into that damn show she does with that twat of a husband of hers. I mean I know I have a weakness for horror and gore but really me, of all people watching that!
April 10th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
The best children’s book I’ve ever read was about a young boy that ate a bar of chocolate just before bed.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Children’s book authors get my bloody goat. They write fifteen words and then an illustrator spends the best part of half a year turning it into something parents would actually like to buy. Why dooesn’t the credit ever go to the person who does all the bloody work? Jordan’s book wasn’t by Jordan – it was by whoever illustrated it with her words fitted in to the white gaps left by the illustrator.
Not that I’m biased.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Thank you Sphorx!
NC, I agree with you, you hear me, agree
April 11th, 2008 at 10:05 am
That’s a first. Glad we’re getting along so well. You’re alright really, Piqued. A good egg.
April 11th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Yes, thank you
Are you alright?
April 11th, 2008 at 11:02 am
I’m fine, thanks. How are you?
April 11th, 2008 at 11:14 am
I can’t complain, despite fucking Jordan, eh?
(pardon my language)
April 11th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
The sad fact is her latest outsold the total sales of the combined booker prize long list. Or something.