My cunting back has popped again. No reason for it, I went to bed okay and woke up not. That’s the worst thing about having a fucking slipped disc, it’s completely out of your hands, subject to its own malevolent and petulant will. The merest sigh can aggravate it, a cough, nay, a fart… the most terrifying of all is a sneeze, the year before I wrote this blog, when it first went, I sneezed in my flat and fucking fainted –it was dreadful.
Last night was fun, I took the t’Northern Line into Soho and met an old friend for a drink, she arrived right on time, most unusual for a bird I clucked to myself and we had one there before arriving at dusk at a Japanese Restaurant opposite the Groucho Club which was completely deserted save one middle-aged Japanese lady with teeth like tombstones. We ate sushi and sashimi with wine, not saki (that scanned beautifully) which was fucking delicious though my dining companion wasn’t really au fait with chopsticks like what I is and took to stabbing her food. I smiled patronisingly, I did, I could feel myself do it. I nearly went ‘ha’ as well.
By the time we got out it was raining so hard I was forced to procure a brolly for our heads for the walk to the tube with was awash with drenched looking types. In hindsight it may have been this that fucked my back, allow me. Wet surfaces have a tendency to cause a chap to slip, especially if he’s wearing a pair of beautifully crafted leather soled shoes, and subsequently one is inclined to compensate for slipping by treading gingerly with a flat foot causing the back to tense, I reckon that’s why I’m sat here now with a rictus grin and moist eyeballs.
But at least I’m in fucking work, that’s the good bit.
More from The Dead Kenneyds recording live. I find this type of thing separates the men from the boys, only wankers hate this, hear me? Wankers.
Before I go, the only band that are referenced on the opening titles to Nevermind The Buzzcocks are The Dead Kenneyds, and that’s a Piqued fact –actually, I’m going to pop an interview with Jello Biaffra by Jools Holland RIGHT AFTER THIS FUCKING SONG.
Tags: dead kenneyds, groucho club, jello biaffra, jools holland, moral majority, my fucking back, sashimi, sushi
April 16, 2008 at 1:46 pm |
Well I’ve tried, I really have. I read this this morning…
“Before I go, the only band that are referenced on the opening titles to Nevermind The Buzzcocks are The Dead Kenneyds, and that’s a Piqued fact”
… and it’s been bugging me all bloody day. What do you mean they’re the only band referenced in the opening titles of Nevermind The Buzzcocks? This is an elaborate trap isn’t it? Off the top of my head, I can remember Pink Floyd, The Sex Pistols, and Nirvana being referenced, as well as loads of other bands. It’s all different albums crashing to the ground.
You’ve done this on purpose. What are you playing at? What’s the game?
April 16, 2008 at 2:01 pm |
‘It’s all different albums crashing to the ground.’
Looks like you’ve seen this show A LOT
Never thought of checking on youtube?
(When I say ‘referenced’ I don’t mean in terms of the actual ‘Nevermind the Buzzcocks’ title graphic, of course)
April 16, 2008 at 2:15 pm |
Yes, I do watch it a lot. Here’s those albums crashing to the ground in a YouTube link. Referencing lots of different bands’ albums. In the opening credits. Of Nevermind The Buzzcocks. When did you last watch this show? 1998?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=POKeGdqNOJQ&feature=related
April 16, 2008 at 2:37 pm |
Yeah, I meant the old show, should’ve said
April 16, 2008 at 2:41 pm |
I was wondering. It’s always best to check these cast-iron Piqued facts, I find.
April 16, 2008 at 3:08 pm |
It was a cast iron fact -lets face it, since the new graphics came into play it’s been shit and not worth watching.
Actually, it’s been shit since Mark wotsit left, as has Have I got News for You since that pro-John Cleese impersonator Deayton got done for having all coke up his face with a hooker, or something.
By the way can you tell me what to do with an erection, I’ve one that’s been dogging me all day.
April 16, 2008 at 3:15 pm |
Haven’t you a desk you can slam it in?
April 16, 2008 at 3:20 pm |
Genius, thanks my old mate
April 16, 2008 at 3:29 pm |
Anytime. Any other office-based genital problems, you come to dirty Uncle Ben for advice.
April 16, 2008 at 3:50 pm |
Didn’t you mean ad-rice?
a
ha
ha ha
ha ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*is violently sick*
April 16, 2008 at 3:54 pm |
Mark Lamarr was shit. Amstell is better. A nice pint of Simon Amstell. Lovely.
Aaaaah
April 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm |
I must say I prefer this Simon fella as the host. He’s funnier than wot Lamarr was.
April 16, 2008 at 4:01 pm |
I saw Amstell do stand-up at a comedy night. He sucked more than a hooters waitress on the night she found out her twin daughters got into college.
April 16, 2008 at 6:19 pm |
Dear piqued I must share with you the fact that, this ‘bird’ is well known for her good time keeping. And now that I’ve fallen for that bait I’ll back away gracefully.
April 17, 2008 at 9:40 am |
Amstell is funny at times but he’s no class, Mark did
COME BAC MARKS
*writes ‘Mark’ in biro on exercise book*
April 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm |
Yeah, Mark had the sardonic, bored thing down to a tee, Amstell is a little too self-conscious to get it right.
Plus his stand-up was shit.
April 17, 2008 at 3:00 pm |
Nice one John Q
Pint?
April 17, 2008 at 3:41 pm |
You two are idiots. Lamarr was good at first but became boorish, self-indulgent and had so many pregnant pauses after his lame jokes that the tumbleweed couldn’t even be arsed to crawl across the studio floor.
April 17, 2008 at 3:45 pm |
Well there’s not need for that SH