It’s not really in my character to be overtly rude to someone, obviously if there is justification, a motorist trying to run me off the road, an angry gentleman mucking about in the street, then I may take appropriate action. But last night on the tube, whilst stealing the northern line map that runs across the top of the car, some bloke was staring at me all funny like.
As I rolled the map up and popped it in my bag I turned to this chap and said, ‘what you fucking staring at’ much to my surprise, as, indeed, was the recipient of this loutish behaviour. ‘Nothing’ he said meekly. I felt like a right cunt all the way home I can tell you. (the map, by the way, was hastily mounted after midnight on the wall by the stairs, I saw it this morning, it looks fucking shit)
I’ve no idea what inspired this hooliganism. It may well as a result of being thrown out of The Intrepid Fox by a furious member of the bar staff during drink up time. I’d like to point out that both myself and Urbanwoo (link right) merely needed to micturate before we went home and the staff had called last orders and immediately hit the bog lights. I insisted that they turned them back on, which they did, but as we left a group of punters were rowing with the staff and we were ordered to leave before being subject to a tirade of abuse.
Previously Louche (link right) Uw and I had met up in a boozer on Dean Street to discuss a project of sorts, all was going swimmingly until the place became full of footballs and people that like it and things, so we left to pound the streets until arriving at The Crowbar, a heavy metal bar of some note, though long past it’s heyday, and swigged Speckled Hen from bottles. Here we laughed at the world, we three are involved in a similar activity which requires support from those I the know, something impossible to grasp if you’re not. In time this obscurity will have its veil lifted allowing you all to pique…
It was a splendid evening and certainly made up for a bland disappointing day in the office. Business is slow and I have to say, it’s making me a bit nervous. Notwithstanding, my week continues to be choc full o’ engagements, I’m fully booked until next week one way and another which isn’t good for finances or internals organs but, well, as Uw said last night, one is a long time dead.
IMPORTANT.
HAPPY TO HAVE PEOPLE POST IN HERE BUT PLEASE REMEMBER, WE DON’T DO REAL NAMES
April 30th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
(sung to the tune of, ‘Heaven, I’m in Heaven’)
‘Heavenly, oh me is not so Heavenly…’
(does her little Ginger number and giggles while Igor trips over attempting to do his Fred)
April 30th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
So you’ve started stealing things and threatening people, eh? Amazing how this downturn in your behaviour coincides with my upswing into self-satisfied righteousness. You’ll be smacking people about next.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
You mean ‘Cheek to cheek’, the Irving Berlin song. Tsk, these goths just don’t know their 30s music facts.
April 30th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Let me guess: You, The Woo, and Louche are organising a comedy night. and you’re bricking it because you’ll be going up for a spot? Is this the epoch-shattering, top secret event you keep blathering on about? If I’m right, I don’t think it’s going to be the incredible reveal you’ve been building it to be, frankly. And if I am right, can you now spare us the MI5 routine?
P.S. I’ve set up a site with today’s date on it containing this information. So if I AM right, you can’t simply delete this then deny I ever said it. Yes, I am that much of an arsehole.
P.P.S If I’m worog, it’s back to the drawing board for me (I’ll fucking guess this if it kills me). And, as I’m now trying to be a good egg, I’ll donate £10 to the charity of your choice.
April 30th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
That’s right, nick my pique/peek pun. Thanks. At least I was credited.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:40 am
NC, I’m afraid you’re ‘worog’ old chap.
John, I’ve been using that pun for fucking years, years I tells you.
May 1st, 2008 at 10:08 am
Dagnabbit. Then I’ll continue my investigations. A fresh tenner will be handed over when we meet allegedly this month … BUT IT’S FOR CHARIDEE, REMEMBER.
May 1st, 2008 at 11:55 am
It’s got nothing to do with poo either you cheeky young scamp!
(by the way, have you had a poo already? What was it like? I’m asking as a friend of course -feel free to spill the beans!!)
May 1st, 2008 at 11:56 am
(I’m serious about the poo details by the way. Please)
May 1st, 2008 at 3:49 pm
One yields to your superiour knowledge of 30s music John Q. Goths and the 1930s don’t ‘swing’ very well. In future I will consult you if I ever, dare, to enter this area again.