I heard this morning that Paul Gascoigne (aka wahheeyy the lads, Gazza, Fog on the Tyne. Wifebeater) has been sectioned again. For his version of Fog on the Tyne alone it’s nearly enough to prove the existence of a divine being. The icing on the cake, when discussing his ‘troubles’ (i.e., taking too many drugs, drinking like a basking shark and punching his wife’s face in) was to employ the services of that lovable… sorry, fat obnoxious cigar chewing fat cunt Eric ‘monster, monster’ Hall to speak highly of him on BBC’s flagship news programme Today (?).
He recalled a hilarious anecdote that I have to share. Apparently, right, to describe what a great sense of humour Gazza had, right, yeah, well, Hall and Gaz were in a restaurant, twenty years ago, (that’s twenty. Monster!) and Gaz couldn’t read the Italian menu!! It doesn’t stop there, so the waitress says, ‘Ay meester Gazza, Aaaayy’ (I’m paraphrasing Hall’s charming racism. Monster, monster) ‘whadddadddauuwannnnnna? Eh? EH?!!’ and Gaz, right, still doesn’t know!! Anyway, right, the waitress goes ‘Eh EH Meeester Gaz, you lika Scampi?? Eh, youdalika Scampi EH EH AHAHAHHAHA???’ And Gazza, right, looks at her and dead casual like says…
‘Yes, I like all the Disney films.’
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For the first time in a decade of listening to Today I’ve never ever heard John Humphries shut up quite like that. What the fuck was that on Today for? A letter will be constructed following this; I’ll keep you posted.
Yesterday, following a quite headbangingly awful day in employment, I was out as soon as I got in to meet my cousins in Battersea. My bro joined us and following a splash and dash I was on the bus heading for the fucking tube (I’ve never been underground so much in life, I’m convinced I’m growing feelers) to meet IC at Liverpool Street. We then offed back to her gaff to sip wine, well, one glass of wine after I’d smashed hers by accident after pointing at the sink and catching the glass on the back of my hand…
It’s stopped raining finally and it’s a beautiful day, it’s so great to be at work!! I love it here!! Monster monster.
June 4th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Poor old Gazza. Leave the poor sod alone.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:42 am
No, I shan’t
*pokes the wifebeating shit through his cage with a stick*
AHHAHAHAHAAJS DO U LIKES THAT GAZAR, DO U???????/
June 4th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
This is the same Gazza who once proclaimed ‘I don’t make predictions. And I never will…’ Completely insane but most of the current crop of overpaid f’tballers aren’t fit to lace his drinks, never mind his boots, as one wag once had it. (That’s wag, not WAG, which clearly should be WOG anyway. You can’t be wife AND girlfriend, it’s one or the other.)
June 4th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Oh Whistle and I’ll Come to Thee, u r a rayscsistsz