It’s another of those dreadful days, though hopefully this is the last one like this for a while. The contract is going out this afternoon, after that it’s wait and see time…
But before all that, I’ve an appointment with the gob-doctor in an hour or two. It gets better and better doesn’t it.
I’ve not been to the dentist in well over a year and because I’m partial to a drop or two of the good stuff and the odd cigarette my teeth look like I’ve been masticating with pigshit.
This discolouration isn’t too noticeable from the front, if one were to ignore the ruination between my ivories, it’s the back of the teeth that I look particularly impoverished. They’re browner than gay wood and attached to my teeth as the proverbial of the same tone does to a blanket.
I called them up last week and was informed I’d have to have a check up before the hygienist was let loose on my face. I could hear the accusing ‘it’s been over a year, Mr. Piqued’ in her voice before I nipped that one in the bud with a passive aggressive ‘so what?’ I’m already prepared to have a fucking row with the dentist by the way.
I’ve a double whammy, dentist for a ‘check up’ (i.e., a license to print money when he ‘discovers’ I need a new fucking tongue or something) and then the severely unpleasant scraping with the hygienist, which ironically, sets ones teeth on edge…
I may be able to give you the gory details tomorrow but this isn’t confirmed. If I don’t post tomoz it’ll be a week before you hear anything from me as I’m popping down to the coast for a few days to stave off a coronary and premature loss of life.
Oh, don’t watch The Wire, you’ll never leave the house until you’ve done the fucking lot…
July 30th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
i’m trying to “hook up” with a dentist at the moment, i haven’t been for a decade and keep having nightmares where my teeth start to crumble, it’s incredibly realistic and feels like having a mouth full of crushed polo mints. a brief love-affair with Mr Ebenezer Goode during my student days means i’ve ground the enamel of most of them, too. it’s not the dentist’s drilling and needles i’m scared of, or even the eye-watering expense: it’s the contempt and quiet condemnation with which i’m sure i’ll be treated when i’m eventually sat in the chair.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I’m in the same boat, JonR.
I haven’t had a toothache in all that time but I’m worried I’m missing something. And it’s that precise fear Dentists tend to seize upon, charging you £50 for half a squirt of fucking toothpaste, the BASTARDS
July 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
My teeth are invulnerable. INVULNERABLE. Me dad and me grandad have never had a filling or anything done to their teeth in their lives.
July 30th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
My dad never had a filling in his life either, but my mouth’s like a fucking cyberman’s. I have to take care walking past scrapyards. And why? ‘Cos I didn’t go to the dentist once between 1985 and 1995. Christ, I regretted that one, y’see – your enamel can decay right down to the root without you feeling or seeing it with your naked eye, then that little old root comes out, just a tiny, tiny way out, and your fucking head implodes with the kind of pain you JUST CAN’T IMAGINE IN THIS REALITY.
Sorry. Take my advice. Go the the dentist.
P.S. I am not a dentist.
July 30th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
That’s go TO the dentist folks.
I’ll go now, I’m turning into a public information film.
July 30th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I hate to bring up yesterday’s comment conversation, but SH really is right. Rec. is fucking brillliant.
July 31st, 2008 at 8:35 am
Yes, and I didn’t say anything about it did I, JQW
July 31st, 2008 at 8:49 am
You mentioned that I rec-ommended (ha) it to you, Piqued, I think JQW is thirding what you’re seconding.
July 31st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Yeah YEAH, we he ought to take a fucking chill pill, SH… HE SHULD CHIL THER FCUKSZ OWT