strangeses

One news story caught ol’ Piqued’s eye yesterday, well the headline was ‘Man cuts his head off with Chinsaw’ so I was immediately intrigued. The Telegraph went into particular detail, here’s what they had to say…

“An inquest at Winchester Coroner’s Court heard that Mr Phyall (50) tied the Black & Decker tool to a leg of a snooker table in his lounge, taped up the on button and plugged it into a timer. Mr Phyall, who had consumed a small quantity of alcohol but no drugs, then lay down under the snooker table face up and placed the chainsaw against his neck. A piece of the tool’s cardboard box initially cushioning the blades from his neck. The hearing heard that the timer, which is usually used to turn lights on and off, was fixed to start up the chainsaw for 15 minutes. When it activated, it sliced three-quarters through his neck and across into his right shoulder only stopping from a complete severing when his t-shirt was dragged into the blades. His elderly parents John and Jean Phyall raised the alarm when they could not contact their son on July 5 this year. Police were called and, when they arrived, found Mr Phyall in the lounge with blood spattering the walls, floor and a cabinet.”

‘Gracious!’ I said, after putting away my flaccid tool and mopping up all the spaff what I’d fired about my trousers, ‘why would a fellow do such a thing?’ Terminal disease? Bereavement? Broken heart? Debt? No. He’d been offered accommodation.

Apparently, Mr Phyall was ‘irrationally opposed to moving’ his current digs were due to be demolished and despite great efforts from his housing association, and after refusing 11 offers for alternative dwellings, he decided to cut his own fucking head off.

According to the coroner “He thought through how he was going to commit suicide very carefully. He went to a great deal of trouble. “I think he did it to draw attention to the injustice of his situation.” What a petulant, selfish arsehole. Did he think about his poor elderly parents at any point? They’ve got to spend the rest of their brief lives secure in the knowledge their son acted like an utter berk.

Before I go just a quick mention of the couple that ‘met’ in Second Life (an online game essentially) fell in love with each other avatars and got married both virtually and in reality. Weird but whatever. But there is so much more. The male protagonists wife caught him, online, with a second life hooker and they split up in second life and real life. She then employed a virtual private detective to test his fidelity with a honey-trap, which failed, but his avatar spent the evening talking to the private detective about the second life hooker who he is now seeing in real life following his real/second life wife filing for divorce who, incidentally, is now seeing some bloke she met online in World of Warcraft… for fucks sake

Oh, the male protagonists is 40, 25 stone, unemployed and on incapacity benefits, his Second Life avatar is a tall muscular nightclub owner who flies to work in a helicopter gunship.

sorry about the vid, music is great…