As of late I’ve been getting a volley of those Bank-Scam emails, you know, the sort that begin ‘Attention please, how are you doing together with your entire family,’ before being given some guff regarding my selection for the deposit of an abandoned fund and a request for my bank details to get the ball rolling.
Does this still work? When these scams appeared 5 years ago I’m sure a few blessed wankers fell for it, but after all the press attention and what have you what sort of raspberry would hand over their details to the bank of Ouagadougou Burkina Faso in West Africa in the belief that a complete stranger is going to deposit $15,000,000 into their account?
So I’ve decided to give it back as it were by cleverly combining fact, subtly and an extraordinary lack of decorum, my details therefore are Barclays Bank (fact) sort code: 5318008 (this is the one that spells ‘boobies when you turn it upside down on a calculator –told you it was subtle) and my account number: FUCKYOURMOUTH… well, it beats working.
I’m sure you’ve read of the girl in the news who is suing a Belgium Tattoo artist after she left his parlour with 56 stars on her face, rather than the three she says she asked for? Kimberley Vlaeminck, 18, says she fell asleep during the procedure, and only realised what had happened when she woke up.
I’ve never heard so much shit in my life to be honest. Well I have, but this is pushing it. Tattoos are inclined to sting, for the clean-skinned they’re not as painful as you may think (like a cocktail stick being run firmly over the skin) but in certain regions they fucking hurt, the face is a ‘fucking hurt’ region by all accounts, akin to one on the inside of the lower arm I’ve been reliably informed, which I have experienced. Falling asleep when someone is tattooing your face, unless you’re pissed or full of narcotics, isn’t going to happen. I have to say, not entirely sure why the tattooist agreed to tattoo an 18 year olds face… put it this way, I’ve seen my artist turn down the sorts of guys that would hand over their bank details to Mr. Rafik Bahaa Edine Hariri, just cos he asked. More on this story from the Tattoo community by clinking on the BMEZINE link to the top right of this piffle.
Had a pleasant evening with my bro and his missus, we had a drink at a pub in London Bridge before having dinner at an overpriced and crowded restaurant during which I was informed of some rather nasty developments in my bros residence, the upshot of which may result in their having to physically move…
Shit, got to run, I’m off to get FUCKYOURMOUTH tattooed onto my forehead… Oh, Wednesday list, tune etc.,
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June 17th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I knew ‘Nigella’ and ‘Nipple’ would do it.
You’re right; that Belgian girl speak with forked tongue. 18 jisms on her face and well, we all know what the Belgians are like, I could have believed she’d have fallen asleep (mind you she wouldn’t have complained at that.)
Hope you saw Murray on Flight o’ t’ Conchords fall for the Nigerian bank thing- only for it to be genuine. What a lovely little programme that is and what a shame one is unable to iplayer it.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I’ve seen that very one OWAICTT, nice little touch
Do check the comments about that idiot kid with the stars on bmezine, do, go on, doooo do do the funky gib…
soz