Jordan (reel naym kaaytee prys) has split from her ‘lover’ cage-fighter (it’s never a good job title that, though having said that neither is ‘topless wanker’ which is precisely what Jordan is) Alex Reid because he dated a ladyboy a few years ago. Mr. Reid who has been photographed on a regular basis cross-dressing, clearly has a thing for blokes in dresses, which explains why he dated Jordan in the first place.
On my way into work yesterday, an ashen-faced female police officer stood in the middle of the road quietly re-directing traffic away from a prone figure being given frantic cpr by a member of the public. The figure on the road looked like a crumpled duvet, as I turned to take the adjacent road the frantic resuscitation slowed as the sirens from an approaching ambulance gained in volume. This morning a solitary bunch of flowers tied onto a set of railings next to the where the figure lay wriggled in the morning breeze. Life is a fickle thing isn’t, one minute you’re here and all that, still, I’m okay so fuck it.
My estate agent called this morning to ask if it’s okay if my buyer ‘moves in a few boxes’ before Friday’s completion date. Fuck that! I said, even though I’ve exchanged a part of me is sensibly expecting the whole bloody thing to fall through the floor, it’s not as if I haven’t been pissed about and lied to for fucking months. My agent informed me that if I don’t exchange on Friday her solicitors will be penalised, cool, I said, makes no difference to my decision. She moves in when I get the money, that’s the way it works isn’t it? Is it just me?
CUNTS.
