*shrugz*

Boris Johnston, that blonde-haired porky pig prick has decided to dig up The City, all at once. Broadgate, Borough, Elephant and Castle all gridlocked, if it wasn’t for my use of pavements and blue language I’d still be at Monument. It would’ve killed The Black Bitch no question. Even using the tools of illegality it took me almost one and half-hours to get here, this journey usually takes me 40 minutes. Sweet Christ… At one point I nearly took out a bunch of bus passengers when the driver allowed them off in between stops as I was violently undertaking and shit, it was accident-brown close, I called him a ‘hairy fat cunt’ and even made sure he’d understood every word, he looked disappointingly bored at my tirade, what a blasted fool, dear reader (s).

Probably comes as no surprise but I’m in a fucking horrific mood if you’ve been keeping up with house-selling developments. The latest is, apparently, a survey is being conducted in the ex-flat right now so my buyer can get a new mortgage. Still not sure how we get to completion and then everyone finds out that the stupid cow has told porkies on her application in order to secure the loan. Yesterday I was given the option of taking the deposit right there and then and putting the flat back on the market, but, despite how I may come across here, I’m not a complete shithouse and I value my ability to sleep soundly. The other option was to give my buyer the chance to sort the matter out, she’s 9 working days to do so or I’ll be forced to do what I could’ve done yesterday, now if I so wish.

If this does happen I’ll be better off, not only do I get the deposit but since I accepted her offer my flat has gone up by about 10k, with her deposit I’d make 40k or so, but that’s after going through the whole selling-the-flat business a second time and, frankly, I don’t think my nerves can take it. I’ll get much less than half of this if we complete in the next 9 days so you’re witnessing, to a certain extent, an act of altruism and crass stupidity in one shot.

I took my woes off to the pub yesterday and hooked up with Liam, Jim and Paul for a pub quiz in a boozer in that there Hackney. We did dreadfully, the questions were abhorrent and we answered accordingly. Our team morale wasn’t helped by my spilling half a pint of London Pride all over Liam’s nuts. It was one of those awful slo-mo moments, almost as if I could’ve rewound and reversed the inevitable. We came last, just about summed up my fucking day.

On a lighter note… oh, there isn’t one. And you can whistle for a youtube goodie an’ all.