The Police in Wales have been watching too much TV. Reading that shysters rag The Metro in my cattle truck of a Tube this morning I was so unsure that a particular story was a wind up I had to check with the BBC to make sure it wasn’t. It wasn’t.
Astonishingly, Dyfed-Powys Police, an outfit that sounds like a Stroke victim trying to swear with a mouth full of hospital porridge, actually responded to claims by psychics that 32-year-old Carlos Assaf had been knacked by gangsters as opposed to death by suicide, specifically, hanging. The psychics, employed by the deceased’s family, claimed he had been strangled after being forced to drink petrol and bleach, by gangsters. Apparently the ghost of Carlos told them all this. I promise I’m not making this up.
Instead of laughing the fucking crazies out of the police station the Welsh Trotters spent over 20k investigating these frankly ludicrous claims. Even the beginning of the official statement from the Police sounds like the beginning of the fucking X-Files, “The revelations of the mystics were brought to our attention via the family.”
‘The mystics,’ ‘relvelations,’ for fucks sake! Anyway, they checked the deceased body again and, surprise, surprise, found neither petrol or bleach in his system. Or gangsters. Personally, I would’ve thought that as his body was discovered suspended from a weights bench following a bitter row with his girlfriend the previous evening, it was most likely he may have committed suicide? No? FOR FUCKS SAKE!
Thank Christ it’s the weekend, as usual it’s rammed full, bit too full if I’m honest but I’m sure I’ll find a few minutes to relax. At least there’re is nothing desperately needing doing on the home front.
Still waiting for news on my buyers mortgage, when will this end? (next Friday)
Right, you know the drill, have fun an’ all.
NO. ARTIST SONG TITLE LAST WEEK WEEKS ON
30 Miike Snow Black And Blue NE 1
29 Slayer Hate World Wide 19 5
28 Arctic Monkeys Cornerstone NE 1
27 Paramore Ignorance 24 12
26 Kids In Glass Houses Youngblood (Let It Out) 30 2
25 Chase And Status ft Plan B End Credits NE 1
24 Echo And The Bunnymen Think I Need It Too 16 7
23 Athlete Black Swan Song 29 2
22 The Cribs We Share The Same Skies 22 2
21 30 Seconds To Mars Kings And Queens NE 1
20 Five Finger Death Punch Hard To See 13 8
19 Funeral For A Friend Wrench 10 10
18 Paramore Brick By Boring Brick 20 2
17 Massive Attack Splitting The Atom 12 4
16 Julian Casablancas 11th Dimension 11 5
15 Muse Undisclosed Desires NE 1
14 Dead Weather I Cut Like A Buffalo 17 3
13 Kasabian Underdog 18 5
12 Green Day East Jesus Nowhere 7 6
11 Stereophonics Ignorance 8 4
10 Skunk Anansie Squander 21 2
9 Wolfmother New Moon Rising 14 4
8 Idlewild Readers And Writers 9 5
7 Ladyhawke Magic 4 5
6 Rammstein Pussy 5 7
5 Foo Fighters Wheels 3 6
4 Biffy Clyro The Captain 6 6
3 Lostprophets It’s Not The End Of The World…2 9
2 Death Cab For Cutie Meet Me At The Equinox 15 2
1 Editors Papillon 1 9
