awfice

I woke this morning to the heart-warming news that the nations pin-up, Jordan (real name Kati prys) has got married in Las Vegus to her kuckbixing boyfriend Alex Rede. And I couldn’t be hapeeer for bowth of thems. I no fo reel that they reely do larve eech otherz, reely reely truly abso looly.

To be perfectly honest, you’ve got to take your hat off to the bitch, she’s got tits of steel, frankly (and probably literally.) I’ve never known such utter shamelessness in the face of the gawping public via the baying media. And such wanton manipulation of that dim sucker who has agreed to get publicly turned over in a few weeks/months/years etc., Or am I being naïve, I hope I am and he’s going to get something out of this. From where I sit he’s just entered a world of misery. What an awful cunt she is.

Via Charlie Brooker’s Newswipe I was privy to an excerpt of some magazine show on Five hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Massager and I think some teeth off The Apprentice. Just a tiny snippet made me howl with rage. A bloke was talking about the homeless and said ‘give them company, a sandwich maybe, but never any money,’

Why the fuck not?! They need money to get bombed. Surely if you’re living on the streets sans family and a roof the only possible thing you’ve got to look forward to is a tin or a needle. Homelessness isn’t a lifestyle choice; it’s a fucking awful, awful thing to happen to a person. When I drop some change into the hand of some poor unfortunate sod begging outside in the pissing howling rain I’m praying more than anything they find a solution to their despicable predicament, but for now, that’s a contribution to their more immediate concern of getting out of the dreadful weather and getting nicely wasted, on me.

I had a splendid evening with IC, we’re currently doing The Office back to back. The word genius is stretched too far these days but it applies to that show and everyone it in, especially Gervais. One of the reasons it works on the level it does is because it allows one to empathise/despise the characters via your own experiences in the office environment, if you’re unfortunate enough to have been in that situation, or, like me, in it right fucking now. I would be much happier if I was watching the show outside of my weekday horrors, particularly as yesterday was especially vile (I’ll spare you the details, it might inspire me to nip over to the protagonists desk and rip their liver out via the eye socket.)

Right, another days rant over. I’ve attached a treat for you, this is heart-warming stuff.

Viva La Lydon!